Alone

 I thrive on being alone.  I feel I physically need it a times.  I'm not depressed or lonely.  I'm de-stressing myself or just putting myself in a less busy space.  I find myself getting very anxious, short with communication, or just not wanting to be around anyone (including family) when I need this time.  I don't really do anything in my recharge time.  Maybe I'll listen to a song, draw, write, or even do a cozy game that requires very little thinking or involvement on my part.  Once I have my time - it could be hours, or it could be a day or so, I'm fine.

I've been like this for as long as I can remember.  I enjoy just being alone.  There are times when I just want zero interruptions and I can remember getting in trouble for kicking a sibling out or just trying to ignore my spouse or (adult) kids.  It's not that I don't want to help them.  I do.  It's not that I don't love them.  I do.  And I enjoy spending time with them and having them in my life.  I enjoy going to places, shopping, or visiting friends.  BUT there are just times when I want to be alone.

Now is one of those times.  I can't handle the over-stimulation of communication or chatter in my bubble when I'm trying to be alone.  Sadly my spouse is just the opposite.  So I think they quite don't understand.

It's kind of hard to explain.  But it really recharges the mental state of who I am.  It puts back a focus (which I strongly have anyway), and it clears my head of all the stuff weighing me down.  It refreshes my brain in a way a nap would or a good vacation.  Only this time it's just me.  No other distractions.  No other sounds.  No other thoughts or interactions.  Just me.

I don't have to do this all the time.  Not really even once a month.  But there are times when it comes to a point that I just need to do this.  And I wish people would just leave me alone.