Aang! Chapter 5, season 2

 I am not good at battle royale and I generally play Legos or the Garage Band.  But I'm very pleased with my progress.  I played a quick battle on Friday and unlocked the Korra loading screen.  I love the art work.

Again, playing mostly with Legos, as you can see, I'm getting through the battle pass, albeit slow.  That's ok.  I'm building in survival and thinking about what to build and not use blueprints if I don't have to.

I did splurge and buy the Aang unlock because, well it's Aang.  Yes, I've bough quite a few Lego skins of various Fortnite characters.  But I also have the monthly season pass thing - giving me 1k v-bucks a month.  A lot of 'spending' comes from that.

My goal is to finish the season battle pass.  Just like D4, I just want to say I did it.  And speaking of, D4, I've just unlocked level 70, so that will be completed before the due date in May 14.  Fortnite is done May 24th.  I'll be interested to see what each new season brings with both games.  I know I'm way further in the season this chapter of Fortnite than I was with Chapter 1.  

Solar Eclips of the lifetime

 

April 8th, 2024 was a day to remember.  We had a solar total eclipse, and from where I live, we had 100% totality.

In my 40 something years of living, I don't ever remember experiencing this.  It was truly something.  We had eclipse glasses and watched what we could though the clouds.  The closer the moon came to 100% to being in front of the sun, not only did it get darker, but the clouds that were covering the sky, suddenly disappeared.  

I wasn't prepared for how dark it became during totality.  It was dark at 1pm in the afternoon!

I was so thankful to have been able to enjoy this with my family.  Something definitely to remember.

D4, Season 3

 So it’s a new season in Diablo IV.  I’m currently playing it on the PS5, which absolutely runs flawlessly.  If I take it out to the living room, on the big screen it looks amazing!

“Mother’s Blessing” is currently active, giving xp bonus.  I think I went from mid 50s today to 61 before logging for bed.  Because I work from home, we now have lovely cameras we have to have logged in and on at all times.  This really limits my set up of having 2 monitors, and 2 sets of keyboards/mice for when I want to game between calls.  My productivity numbers are really on point, this is more for keeping me busy… otherwise I’ll go insane.  We can’t even color….

So my solution to work from home and still do what I want is to do things under the desk.  They can’t see my screens - one just doesn’t happen to have work related things on it… and under the desk well, there may or may not be a ps5 controller.  :)

I’ve had the camera for about a week now and so far here is what I learned:

• It tracks your face.  It’ll get mad if you look down (which is where my fan is) or if you look behind you, which is where my trash can is.  Yes, (or no?) I don’t have any papers or writing utensils at my desk, but I have hair that I loose and maybe I’ll need to blow my nose, or q-tip my ear…. All those things need thrown away…
• The camera isn’t “seeing” everything.  I can keep this very iPad, complete with Magic Keyboard near my monitor and it sees NOTHING.  I can watch YouTube, Twitch, Netflix, yea, I’m good.
• I’ve also been utilizing my Apple Watch more, listening to Podcasts from it and definitely using the timers.
• Even if it “detects” something, which in my case isn’t anything because  - I don’t have anything they can complain about, it doesn’t do anything.  It doesn’t lock the screen, it doesn’t flash red or call the IRS.  It just says “can’t detect face, or gadget detected and THERES NOTHING THERE.’
• Lastly, I found out that I can still log into my computer and just not log on to the camera.  I mean… until the whole team is logged on no one’s really tracking this shit anyway.   Sooooo what’s the point?  To spend our Christmas/Customer Appreciation funds… I’m sure.

With D4, season 3, I’m almost complete.  I slowly keep carving away at it.  I’m nearly on level 60 on the season pass (or is it 70) and nearly done with Chapter 5.  I have until mid-May so I should be ok to get this done.

Diet, nutrition and fasting

 So since Thanksgiving I’ve been increasing my WW (Weight Watcher’s) logging and following the easy point system.  I have lost a total of 15 lbs since start.  I also broke my foot a month ago, removing any and all attempts to be more physical as I had planned.  (I’m going back for a follow up on tomorrow, so I’m hoping this will ‘release’ me so I can walk and do more things.) In addition to just being keen on my diet… (FF when I can, really conscience on how much I eat, just really reducing overall intake and processed foods), I’ve been fasting.  The last 2 weeks, I’ve been doing a 12/12, which fasts zero caloric intake (water only) for 12 hrs, eating my “WW” diet for the other 12.  Last weekend, unbeknownst to us, we attended a dear friend of our’s a funeral - which lasted 5+ hrs.  My 12/12 turned into a 18/6.  It was then I decided to increase my fasting time to a 16/8.  These last few days I’ve noticed I really like how it makes me feel.  I have a ‘happy’ feeling.  I’m alert.  I accept and welcome the hunger feeling. - All knowing that while fasting it’s healing my body.  I’m starting to pay attention to what my body is telling me. 

Rather than eating because it’s “time to eat breakfast”, I don’t.  I eat when I’m hungry.  I stop when my body says I’m full.  (Which, may just be a half a sandwich.). It really intrigues me to see and learn just how much of an open trough we have available to us to just eat and graze and graze and eat all day, every day.  No wonder we’re over weight and obese.  No one is listening to what their body is telling them, they only listen to what they want - ooh Doritos, cookies, tacos and pizza!  

While that’s all well and good - and I do eat that still, I’m limiting what I eat.  Not only to help save money because we don’t NEED 3 pizzas, but I want to bit lean and fit for the cruise and I keep telling myself I’ll eat that on the ship!  It’s not about what we eat, but how much we’re eating.  I’ll explain.

I’ve not had any sweets in 3-4 weeks.  Not milk chocolate anyway.  Might be longer, I honestly can’t recall the last time I had milk chocolate.  My husband finds us some Cadbury eggs at the store the other day.  I ‘reward myself and eat mine and it was disgustingly sweet!  Like too much.  I now understand when forgeiners complain about American Chocolate.  It’s gross!  But more to my point, while I want this to be a lifestyle… the life style should not be about limiting and completely removing foods from my life.  I like Doritos and pizza and cookies and cake.  But I’m not needing the whole thing (not that I ever did.)  You get my idea.  

Fasting has given me some clarity to what my body says and needs.  It’s not about shoveling food in my mouth because it’s time to eat or because it’s in the cupboard.  It’s about making choices to eat when you need it and to include foods that will fuel you rather than just scratch an itch.

I will say the first few days on the 16/8 plan were a bit messy.  I’d come to my fasting finishing time and I would feel so famished I’d want to binge eat.  I nearly did the other day, going to bed with a tummy ache.  Luckily I ate things like fruit and veggies and not things that would ruin my diet.  I need to really pay attention to what I’m eating and how fast I’m eating it.  I need to allow my body the time to take and send proper signals to tell me that I’m full or I should not get anymore food.  I did good tonight. I was hungry about an hr after I stared my fast.  Maybe I’m a little light on the caloric intake for the day, but that’s ok.  I’ll work off what I put on from overeating.

New Year, new… Nevermind

 Well, I am focusing on myself.  However, the last few weeks, while it hasn’t stopped me, has brought less focus on that specifically.  My goal is to lose 5lbs/month until we leave for a cruise in December of 2025.  I’ve successfully lost 12 lbs since after Thanksgiving.  However, a week ago we learned my sister-in-law, my brother’s wife, suddenly left this world.  No words are enough to the questions that now remain.  She IS like a sister to me, because my brother has known her since High School.  My niece is 10, a birthday coming next week and she gets this…

I am nowhere near where my brother is on emotion, questions and having to return to life.  I get that.  

I do have so many questions.  Why was it so selfish to think this was the only answer?  Why did you feel you were so alone to the point you couldn’t say or do anything other than this?  If the ‘reasons’ you left are the ‘reasons’ used to excuse this, why not just face the music?

1. I fully understand I’ll never get the answers I’m looking for.  And I also understand these are my questions, my thoughts and not hers or her justifications to her actions.  I’m not wanting to paint a bad picture here to who she is or that I think she was weak for what she did.  Everyone grieves and in my grief I want to understand, knowing that I’ll never get to.  So that’s why I’m angry.  I’m angry because we won’t ever understand and we’re left with more questions than solutions.

2. My sister-in-law was very knowledgeable and strong on the outside.  I admired this, as she could put up with my brother and his shenanigans willingly.  I have to put up with him -he is my brother. She opted to and put him in line when he didn’t behave.  

3.  She’s good with kids and her own.  She always was fun to be around in the eyes of a kid.  She made it fun and worth it.  So much patience and shared time.  

I’m sure there is more to put here, but I’m really tired.  Yesterday was the funeral so that was on my mind, plus 24 hrs of Daytona and a lot was spent awake watching that.  Not to mention getting up early for church and not really having much of a nap anytime today.  

I know I have my thoughts on suicide and what I think it means when someone does such an act.  I think though in light of it being so close to home, it’s time we stop pretending to talk about things and start doing actions.  If someone is having a problem, we need to talk about it or make sure they get help.  Now in this case, we don’t know if that would have changed anything here - again, so many questions remain.   I think though it is important to walk away from this learning something or at the very least changing who you are in the light of what they were.  Yes, I thought suicide as cowardly and selfish.  It hurts me to say that when it’s your own family.  But was she?  Normally I’d say anything but - so let me eat my words by saying it’s important to be mindful of everyone.  What may be a simple fix for me, may not be so simple to just anyone.  It’s time to be accepting of their thoughts and feelings and just be there for them when they need it.  It may be just that simple.

Alone

 I thrive on being alone.  I feel I physically need it a times.  I'm not depressed or lonely.  I'm de-stressing myself or just putting myself in a less busy space.  I find myself getting very anxious, short with communication, or just not wanting to be around anyone (including family) when I need this time.  I don't really do anything in my recharge time.  Maybe I'll listen to a song, draw, write, or even do a cozy game that requires very little thinking or involvement on my part.  Once I have my time - it could be hours, or it could be a day or so, I'm fine.

I've been like this for as long as I can remember.  I enjoy just being alone.  There are times when I just want zero interruptions and I can remember getting in trouble for kicking a sibling out or just trying to ignore my spouse or (adult) kids.  It's not that I don't want to help them.  I do.  It's not that I don't love them.  I do.  And I enjoy spending time with them and having them in my life.  I enjoy going to places, shopping, or visiting friends.  BUT there are just times when I want to be alone.

Now is one of those times.  I can't handle the over-stimulation of communication or chatter in my bubble when I'm trying to be alone.  Sadly my spouse is just the opposite.  So I think they quite don't understand.

It's kind of hard to explain.  But it really recharges the mental state of who I am.  It puts back a focus (which I strongly have anyway), and it clears my head of all the stuff weighing me down.  It refreshes my brain in a way a nap would or a good vacation.  Only this time it's just me.  No other distractions.  No other sounds.  No other thoughts or interactions.  Just me.

I don't have to do this all the time.  Not really even once a month.  But there are times when it comes to a point that I just need to do this.  And I wish people would just leave me alone.

Christmas is near.

Some new events are going on in games for the holidays.  And I find it hard not to want to just play everything!

Phasmophobia has a Christmas event.  You collect pieces of a snowball-nerf gun and launch snowballs at mini snowmen across the marked maps.  Each map lists how many snowmen are within each map and will update as each snowman is eliminated.  Once you eliminate the snowmen on the map, a very special Christmas-themed hunt occurs.  Complete this for each marked map and you get a 2023 Christmas trophy and a new badge with a corresponding sticker.  

World of Warcraft.  Each year around the holidays, the Christmas event comes, with presents to be opened on Christmas day!  Last year I finally looted the Yole Tide hearthstone (something I collect), which actually took me a few years to obtain.  I'm not 100% sure what new items, if any will be provided.  I've already completed the Traveler's Post for the Christmas-y items I'm currently interested in.

Diablo IV.  I do believe there is an event going on in this game, but I know very little about it.  I have finally completed season 2 but I will go in and see what entails for this event to get a better understanding of that.

Pokemon Scarlet/Violet.  The 2nd DLC - The Indigo Disk releases tomorrow!  I'm excited to finish this and complete the game.  

I'm sure there are others and there are games that have recently been released, like Avatar Frontiers of Pandora and others that I'm enjoying.

I found out today I don't get as much time off at work to enjoy gaming as previously thought.  They took away 2 days we normally have off and are asking for OT the Saturday before.  Now we don't have plans this year for Christmas and the extra money will be nice - but the idea of this being dropped on us as a bomb 2 weeks before Christmas is really shitty.  I will do what it is I have to do... but I don't have to like it.