Points to ponder

 I would think that when you go into a profession you do so because you enjoy it and you're really good at it.  Not because you're drawn to what it is and how it can be beneficial to you. 

There's an age-old quote; "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life."
  

I would say I work in customer service.  I LOVE helping people.  I'm fortunate enough to work from home, amidst the world trying to get back to the norm.  These are some of the things I enjoy about my job.  (No commute, no extra energy spent on 'readying' myself, no thought in what to wear, or do I have enough wardrobe for the week?)  I get to be at home, do my job, help people, and have no worry about the extras of life that are dealt with daily.    What I didn't do is go into this job thinking about how it can help me.  There are no true perks to this job.  I get a service for free but I have to cancel my account, which I currently have then have them reactivate it getting it for free.  I'm not so sure I'm wanting to put that much energy into it.  

I'm curious by doing a profession that is designed to help but doing so to solely help you, I question just how good you are at your job.  I question the validity of your abilities.  You openly share you cannot do the very thing it is you ask others to do.  I don't know whether to call you a fraud or just the typical hypocrite.  Not so surprising, since everything I know of your very being has been nothing but hypocrisy.  

hy·poc·ri·sy

/həˈpäkrəsē/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform; pretense.

Nothing makes me cringe more than that of being a hypocrite.  If you can't be a decent human being to just be transparent about life then your own troubles are of your own doing.

There's something I have to get off my chest

 Sometimes my "family member" can really get under my skin.  Mostly because I think they do so on purpose, and yet don't give a damn how other people are treated.  I try very hard not to let this person know they've gotten the best of me.  As I have stated previously, I went drastic by moving across the country, so they aren't really in my life anymore.  Yet, because they're "family," it's hard not to hear about them.

I can't stand fake people.  You know the ones.  The ones that always seem to have an answer for everything just so they can justify their existence.  The thing is, they don't give a damn about who they hurt, or what they do - as long as they look good to the public eye.  It's like the worst of narcissism meets vain.  They're the ones you pray and pray that one day... JUST ONE day they realize what an inhuman being they've been.  But they never will live to see that day.  Nope.  They live in a world where you never mean anything to them, especially if you can't bring them any sort of gain.

This "family member," has oops-ed to the point of actually 'showing' the rest of the family that the issue we keep complaining about isn't about us.  You see, this "family member," has the rest of the family believing any issues we have are 'our problem.'  Well, they oops-ed.  They can't do the very thing it is they spend the last 10 years going to school for.  So the problem isn't us... It's them.  (Them used in a derogatory sense placing no gender towards the individual for privacy concerns.)  My spouse and I have had our own issues over the years.  As a unit under God, I would like to think we have become more self-aware of our actions and not afraid to change who we were to be better God-loving people.  This includes admitting our mistakes and forgiving those that hurt us.  (Ironic to the reason for this post, but let me continue.)  You see, this "family member" has admitted they cannot move on and so it's better to just ignore/delete/live without than to forgive and live life.  So they don't.  They don't partake in anything that may have 'us' in it.  And the rest of the family is now realizing this.

What gets me is how this person can just delete someone from their life and not give a damn in the world.  I mean, how does someone do that?   TO YOUR OWN FAMILY?!  I may be Christian.  I may need to take my problems and give them to God.  I may also need to forgive those that hurt me.  But I AM allowed to question any and all things and right now... sooo many questions!  I just can't fathom doing that to someone and being ok with myself.  (They're not OK, which is why they have the problems that they do.  But no one can tell them they are wrong now can they?)

Does anyone else have anyone like that in their lives?  I'm sure it's easier to just forget about them... but it's very difficult when it's close-knit like this.  For now I'll just keep it cryptic and hope that one day I can briefly understand.

First day on the job and I'm not doing anything.

 So I finally get my schedule Thurs/Fri of last week.  It gets put on my official list to show me what my upcoming weeks look like.  I log in, online for 30 min then in "training" for the next 4 hours.  When I ask about it, no one can give me a definitive answer.  So?  I follow my schedule to not wack out adherence.  Pretty boring.  I kinda wish the last 4 hours of the day were in training rather than the first 4.  But over all to only be working 4 hours a day, yet still get paid for it, OK- if you say so.